So its been three days into spring break and I needed a place to work out for a week. I called up Planet Fitness (my old gym) and they said I couldn’t start up my account again unless I paid the $50 start up fee so I’m like fuck that. I don’t want to go to Planet Fitness anyways.
Look at those purple ass machines.
Purple ass lady.
So I decide to go to Bally Total Fitness in
douchebags.
Once I walk in to the gym and show the check in lady that I this was my first time here, she picks up the batline and calls in a 8 foot tall salesman who puts his arm around me like we we’re old buddies. He starts acting all friendly and starts showing me around the gym. Pretty nice. Everything I need for the week. Then he takes me into one out of the eight cubicles used to set up membership deals and offers me an ultimatum. I either take the seven day free trial, or a sign up for a discounted membership. Yeah. A discounted 36 month membership contract. Bitch are you smoking reefer? I just want to do a seven day free trial and you want me to sign a contract for 36 months? I spent 20 minutes trying to get it past his head that I’m not going to sign up for 3 years and I just want my free trial. He looked me in the eye and said in a bitch-ass voice, “You aren’t even serious about joining this gym are you?” Fuck you. I might have joined during the summer if you didn’t try to force me into signing a 3 year contract and give me attitude about it.
So in conclusion, please stay away from Bally unless you want to be non-stop harassed in and out of the gym. My friend still gets calls from them since he canceled his membership a year ago. There’s also a rumor going around that Bally is going bankrupt. (It has been confirmed numerous Bally Total Fitness gyms are closing down around the country) It would explain why that asshole was so adamant in making me pay a thousand dollars upfront for the contract. So please readers, don’t let Bally jack your money and close down before you can step on the treadmill.
Fuck you.